nostalgic moments

when i sat myself in front of my guzheng in SCH today, that was one nostalgic moment. it brought me back to 2 years ago where i sat at the same position, just with a different group of people and conductor. sadly, it was hell lot of difference.

when i played the first note of the first song, tsb’s came straight into my mind and for that moment i felt what was like to be in a 40 people ensemble. but sadly, it lasted for those few seconds.

when i plucked the wrong note, tsb’s monstrous glare came into my mind and i immediately sink into a sea of guilt, for i know how clearly that 1 wrong note could be heard in the concert hall.

when we reached the part on 拍打, i was brought back to 4 years ago, where the same song shook the whole stage, unite us as 1 and eventually bringing us the long-awaited gold with honors.

today was filled with so much nostalgic moments on stage, i was more of -in-my-own-world state than being in reality.  it’s funny how the same song is capable of giving me mixed feelings at this point in time. 4 years ago, no matter how much or how long we practised, i was never once sick of the song. in fact the more i play it, the deeper i feel for the song and the more determined i am to hit all the right notes. the speed of the song then was literally twice of the speed we’re playing now. it was fun, but it was filled with all the right emotions from the start till the end. the stage shook under our feet upon reaching the climax 4 years ago on stage and the applause we received was truly one that i would never forget. i had never felt so much for a song before for that sure is 1 challenging song to perfect.

today, i found myself missing xmsgz ensemble more than any other day when i was on stage for that 1hr 15min. i honestly couldn’t find back that same feeling i poured out 4 years back. i tried to feel the music but it was just impossible today. all the wrong emotions were entering at the wrong time throughout and stuff like ” if tsb was here, he would have probably done it a different way” kept flooding my mind.

guess my heart and soul is still in xmsgz ensemble.


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