the wheel breaks the butterfly

it’s been 13 years. this journey isn’t smooth-sailing and though there were instances where i wanted to quit but thinking back, i’m so glad i didn’t. though it’s merely a weekly thing since the past years, the enlightenment, joy and passion i had developed has made quite a big deal. this week was exceptionally hectic and thus tiring for the workload (especially chemistry) is simply crazy. after a long 1.5hr of extra chem lesson after school and a quick dinner with sara ( we satisfied our macs cravings HEHE), i went straight home for a nap. headed down to the studio ~8 and walahhhh it feels great being back after skipping a session for viva last week.

there’s a highlight at almost every dance session and this time it’s eugenia. first she forgot if there’s class today, second she forgot to bring her tights and she claimed she’s so gonna shoot herself for it and lastly the absence of tights made her feel so uncomfortable especially with her toe feeling the floor thanks to the big hole in her demi pointe shoes. after so long, dance seems to be the only activity that lifts my mood significantly and allow me to live, even for that short 1.5hrs. maybe it’s the talking and learning which make my mind preoccupied or maybe because it’s directly linked to my childhood and getting surrounded by my childhood friends.

i hate sweating, especially after pe lessons where it makes me feel so god damn tired and things have gotten worse since we’re having morning pe instead of late afternoon ones. weird as it seems, i love sweating in ballet, especially after exams. that sense of achievement, the sign that i’m working hard for something i’m passionate of, the joy at the sight of improving, makes me feel reborn whenever i go for every dance lesson.

every ballerina’s first excitement isn’t the first grand jete nor first double pirouette. it’s the buying of the first pair of pointe shoes. without that, the elegance and wow factor is simply gone. the process of trying them on and breaking them to make them softer though made my feet and toes hurt like mad, i’ve became so much stronger.

finally a vid to end off this post! love this dance and dancer from the first time i watched it. if someone were to ask me the definition of ballerina, i would say it’s her.

i guess this dance journey won’t just stop here for i can already picture it in my future and damn, i wish it won’t ever stop.

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