choice

am supposed to be asleep and my mind isn’t thinking straight right now, but well let’s just go with this.

bus rides have always been one of my favourite things since young. it is the time where i actually spend time observing people/ scenery, listening and enjoying songs thoroughly, catching up on my sleep and most importantly reflect. today was the last lesson at physics cafe (YESSS no more trips to marymount) and i learnt one of the greatest things in life. it was something we possess all along, but either we neglect it, fail to see it or simply ignore it; and that is choice. countless of debates have been made regarding choices vs fate. but the funny thing is when we decide to leave some things to fate, isn’t that a choice made by us as well? in fact, choice have been circling all our lives, or at least mine and i actually failed to realize the privilege of having it till today (facepalm x1000000)

the topic of choice applies to us in almost every aspect in life, except for well, we didn’t have the choice of choosing who our parents are or whether to end up here on this hellish Earth. take relationships for example. some people abide by the quotes ” let’s leave it to fate” or ” people who are fated to be together will end up finding their way back to each other”. cliche as they may sound, i was at one point a believer of those quotes. maybe it’s the circumstances or one’s basic personality that made us turn to the choice of fate.

after today however, i believe that it’s one’s choices which determine their fate and if i were to pick the most memorable lesson i had in this 1 year in physics cafe, it would be today, especially when Mr Sim said the following words. ” if you can’t do the question, chances are people around you can’t as well. but what differentiates the person beside you and yourself is your commitment in wanting to solve the question.” the bottom line is ultimately, it all comes down to how badly you want the marks or that ever-so-practical A.

there are instances in which everyone wants to give up and just leave it to fate. the latest incident of mine happened yesterday. math has always been a burden which i can’t seem to shake it off. the number of times i have passed math in my 2 years of JC life can easily be counted within 5 fingers. the only time i felt that sense of achievement from math was promos.frustration is an inevitable feeling whenever i do math but undoubtedly it’s also this same frustration which made solving questions harder and prompting the give up sign in my head.

now, i won’t hope for an easy paper in the subsequent papers. instead, i pray for a mindset strong enough to withstand the temptations of giving up. on a lighter note, i can shake off math (LIKE FINALLY) in 4 days time.

okay sleep time.

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