something new

i’m finally set on completing my long dued 30 class observations. this is probably the longest i have procrastinated for an assignment (since i was 17) and now that i’m unemployed i really do wanna get my teaching qualification asap. but little did i know, i was fighting fatigue throughout the 2 lessons i sat in for. however, what surprised me even more is the tinge of pride amidst the tiredness for that 3 hours.

the kids i was actually observing were no longer the petite kids with pink leotards whom i knew. they’ve grown so much taller and looked pretty good in their navy blue leotards now. honestly, facing those familiar faces brought some unintended warmth into my heart for the way they peered at me acknowledged that this jie jie here played a small portion in their childhood.

as i watched them execute exercises one by one, something else distracted me– their names. i’ve always been someone not very good at remembering names but i surprised myself when i could name MOST of them, MOST. the familiarity of their names and the short periods i used to spend with them surfaced a sudden thought— i wish i can watch them grow up, i wish that they will not give up ballet no matter what. such thought came to my mind when i realised that 2 particular kids could not remember most of their work. watching their confused expressions and desperate faces, it kinda pained me for it reminded me of myself in the past.

i was a slow learner and at one point in time my brain just could not process any step introduced to me. i could execute it immediately but the problem comes in when i had to memorise the whole exercises especially enchament since they were particularly the longer ones. the urge to give up was more tempting than ever but as i looked back today, i was glad i didn’t. similarly, i sincerely hope that those 2 kids will persist and not give up 2 months before the exam.

i was thankful i was able to sit in today for i saw myself once again, reminding me the basics of everything; persistence.


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