Brace up, back down

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When dreams became reality, it is as good as a fantasy come true. But when it doesn’t it sucks like hell because every cell in the body are seemingly filled with doubts and second thoughts; if such devotion is unrealistic, if I should turn back around and follow the path which is deemed correct and acknowledged.

I lost count in the number of times I turned to frustration and escapism because of how this topic haunted me for the past few months. I could have turned a blind eye to whatever shit society refused to recognize but exasperation and bitterness soared when I failed to have the support of people closest to me. I could not understand their disapproval, let to the absence of support.

Then I realized they can never understand no matter how hard they try, because they are who they are, and not who I am. But when I finally understood their intentions, the roads still remain rough as ever.

Circumstances left me with 2 options.

1. To eat humble pie and take upon the fucking boring path which was claimed to be the best path available.

2. To keep going, alone.

I honestly, genuinely hate both options and this when I tried convincing myself with cliche quotes like ” when life gets tough the tough get going”and “when life give you lemons you make lemonade.”

Screw it, why the hell am I preaching to myself with such lame quotes.

Imagery works the best during vexing situations like this and so I tried picturing myself embarking on the journey deemed “correct” and “safe” in the societal context.

And then I realized I hated myself for being such a weakling.

Giving up is a form of arrogance and a luxury of the well-off.

As I chanced upon this quote today, it had further reinforced my choice. The upcoming road is bound to be tougher but at least I’m able to face myself, for now.

5 thoughts on “Brace up, back down

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