Brace up, back down

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When dreams became reality, it is as good as a fantasy come true. But when it doesn’t it sucks like hell because every cell in the body are seemingly filled with doubts and second thoughts; if such devotion is unrealistic, if I should turn back around and follow the path which is deemed correct and acknowledged.

I lost count in the number of times I turned to frustration and escapism because of how this topic haunted me for the past few months. I could have turned a blind eye to whatever shit society refused to recognize but exasperation and bitterness soared when I failed to have the support of people closest to me. I could not understand their disapproval, let to the absence of support.

Then I realized they can never understand no matter how hard they try, because they are who they are, and not who I am. But when I finally understood their intentions, the roads still remain rough as ever.

Circumstances left me with 2 options.

1. To eat humble pie and take upon the fucking boring path which was claimed to be the best path available.

2. To keep going, alone.

I honestly, genuinely hate both options and this when I tried convincing myself with cliche quotes like ” when life gets tough the tough get going”and “when life give you lemons you make lemonade.”

Screw it, why the hell am I preaching to myself with such lame quotes.

Imagery works the best during vexing situations like this and so I tried picturing myself embarking on the journey deemed “correct” and “safe” in the societal context.

And then I realized I hated myself for being such a weakling.

Giving up is a form of arrogance and a luxury of the well-off.

As I chanced upon this quote today, it had further reinforced my choice. The upcoming road is bound to be tougher but at least I’m able to face myself, for now.

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5 thoughts on “Brace up, back down

  1. we all have them. It sounds like you are doing well though. Learning to move on and not get tied to people’s views is an important one.

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