When dreams became reality, it is as good as a fantasy come true. But when it doesn’t it sucks like hell because every cell in the body are seemingly filled with doubts and second thoughts; if such devotion is unrealistic, if I should turn back around and follow the path which is deemed correct and acknowledged.
I lost count in the number of times I turned to frustration and escapism because of how this topic haunted me for the past few months. I could have turned a blind eye to whatever shit society refused to recognize but exasperation and bitterness soared when I failed to have the support of people closest to me. I could not understand their disapproval, let to the absence of support.
Then I realized they can never understand no matter how hard they try, because they are who they are, and not who I am. But when I finally understood their intentions, the roads still remain rough as ever.
Circumstances left me with 2 options.
1. To eat humble pie and take upon the fucking boring path which was claimed to be the best path available.
2. To keep going, alone.
I honestly, genuinely hate both options and this when I tried convincing myself with cliche quotes like ” when life gets tough the tough get going”and “when life give you lemons you make lemonade.”
Screw it, why the hell am I preaching to myself with such lame quotes.
Imagery works the best during vexing situations like this and so I tried picturing myself embarking on the journey deemed “correct” and “safe” in the societal context.
And then I realized I hated myself for being such a weakling.
Giving up is a form of arrogance and a luxury of the well-off.
As I chanced upon this quote today, it had further reinforced my choice. The upcoming road is bound to be tougher but at least I’m able to face myself, for now.