this damn thing called feelings

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Someone I know recently instagrammed this quote ” Invest in people who invest in you”. It sounds like a poignant yet practical reminder, telling yourself to turn you back against people who chose to walk out of your life. It seems to me that it beholds a tinge of selfishness and pride for the supposed me should only devote to those who have already been devoted in my life.

But again, isn’t friendship all about initiative?

Whether it is a simple question of ” hey let’s go out, when are you free?” or the making up after a foolish argument, one of the two has to concede or at the very least take the initiative to speak up instead of mulling in silence.

If neither side is willing to invest in each other, will relationships even exist? And what happens if both ends decided to stand around probing if each other is worth the investment yet not even taking a step forward? It’s as if surrendering without a fight and it is truly a waste.

Someone once told me ” a friendship between a passive and active person soars”. While there often lies a grey area between the two and that the roles might switch as the friendship progresses, it is still better than contemplating over the worth of such devotion.

Anyone can speak of such realistic self reminder but our feelings often stand in the way. Whatever the relationship is, both letting go and moving forward are roads paved with holes and thorns. With both paths requiring courage and will, I thought the path to take ought to be the one that is less regretful.

Over the years after losing people and having some sticking around my life, I have come to realize that not everyone I lose is a loss. Similarly not everyone I choose to devote to is worth the devotion.

Some said I have no pride but at the very least, I stay true to my feelings.

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