As one closes the door and walk into a new phase in life, the pool of friends, acquaintances and special ones tend narrow down to a handful, sometimes even fewer than that. At a certain point in my life, it becomes tiring to hang on to every friend after graduation and I’ve come to accept the very fact that people come and go in your life. People who you are emotionally intimate with during the journey is no exception.
As I sat down for a meal with a friend for the first time in 2-3 months, that’s when I finally came to understand why we’re still around in each other’s lives, despite being friends for almost a decade. There are times where it becomes awkward when you meet friends you haven’t met up with for a long time, there are times where you run out of things to say after knowing a friend for some time and eventually it became a chore to catch up with friends because you’re just too invested in yours.
This friend has changed and it is the first time I don’t quite know how to cope with this change. After going through so many transitions, adversities and good times together, the changes are sound. Yet, it is unreasonable to me, because it is this very special friend that is changing, not simply anyone else, but this very special friend of mine, who stands so firmly to his beliefs all these while, who always make choices he deemed as right, not the popular ones. And so this change truly came as a surprise to me. At what point, and with what reason can make someone whom I thought I knew so well, change fundamentally?
We’re still good though. It’s just a pity though, that the tender side of him has been replaced by a steel-like wall, unable to penetrate and unable to break him. Maybe I’m an idealist at heart, maybe I’m the naive one here, expecting an unchanging old friend.
Hah I seem to embrace fundamentalism pretty well.