unsplash.comApathy is so “in.” Isn’t it sad that we’ve gotten to a point where we envy people who are less emotional? A point where being distant, detached, and disinterested is so cool now? The celebrities we are all collectively so obsessed with are the blasé ones – the ones unfazed by the glitz and the…
With the second week of school gradually approaching, it dawned on me how late this post is. But again, it’ll be a shame if I don’t write about it.
Summer has been intense – don’t get me wrong, it’s the good kind of intense and I’m actually glad that I actually embarked on this path which I was initially so doubtful about.
Going back to journalism has been both familiar yet refreshing, for it is like going back to my roots where I first started out as a writer, being all excited about the potential topics I can explore. The only difference this time, is that I know where I’m headed towards. Writer heavier and more taboo pieces this time has probably caused the death of countless brain cells, yet I can’t help but go back to working on such pieces.
I swear, studying sociology has screwed up my entire view of the world. It is like repainting an entire canvas using dark colours tinged with pessimism and skepticism. But it has made me a realist more than anything, and I’m definitely not complaining about that.
I’ve also done more photojournalism in these 2 months and the intensity I’ve delved into has somehow surpassed what I did during my gap year. It gave me a start in photography, and I would daresay it has become a turning point which led me to more doors of opportunities.
Last but not least, staging the dance school’s first ever full-length dance production has got to be one of the most fulfilling things I’ve done in my 21 years of life. Bootcamp alone had drained more than half of my energy, considering the fact that I was working 12 hours shift everyday, only to find out that it was just the beginning. From planning the entire concert outline to nitpicking of details and settling a never-ending list of logistics, it was one hell of a journey.
But I had to say, it was so much fun.
That being said, there’s more stuff that I’ve experienced in summer which I didn’t pen down in this entry, a large part of it is because I’m a lazy writer. In short, I’ve read more books, signed up for this ultra-expensive book box (which I didn’t regret ^^), met new people and not forgetting that I’m falling way behind in writing poetry.
As for now, summer’s all over and I’ve got to get used to the readings life again. I’ve started bullet journalling, in hope that I can track how productive I am/can be throughout this semester. I’m never good at keeping a planner, so let’s see how far I can do this!
hinchinI am not very good at falling in love — I can leap into it like a rocket vaulting into space My feet are meteors that heave themselves from the ground up but the fire beneath them burns out before they reach the top There is no other way to say this so I tell…
You know you’ve stayed away from wordpress for too long when you are stumped for a sec before being able to recall your username. To be honest, I can’t even recall what my last post was on.
Long story short, summer has began and in fact it is ending in a month’s time. I’ve been incredibly busy, working on editorial stuff as well as staging a dance production. A loooooong reflective post will be done after all these are over.
On a side note, I’m guilty for not writing poetry ever since summer has started. I hate to think that my liking towards poetry is merely a phase of my life; I actually do want it to be part of my life, something that I can turn to as a form of stress reliever. But the immense time needed to craft words that show instead of tell a story is not something I have right now. That being said, I have tons of trashy unfinished stanzas though.
Also, SHINE has just ended and I’m so glad to be able to see Jay Park for 3 days straight. Hehhhhhhh. The adrenaline rush in editing photos to captioning them late at night in the office has been nothing short of exciting yet stressful. Teamwork was honestly something I experienced first-hand, so strongly for the first time, especially among people whom I just met in the newsroom. It definitely was not the usual editorial environment I was used to.
One of my personal goals this year was to focus more on dance and I’m genuinely glad that I am able to do so through the current production which I’m helping to stage. It has not been an easy journey so far. With hiccups alongside a mountain of logistics to handle, I can’t be newer to these administrative stuff. But again, I can’t wait to showcase to everyone the full piece. 😉
Meanwhile, I have a draft due tomorrow yet I’m barely 1/4 through it. Come to me feels, so that I can continue writing,
It feels weird to say that I’m back writing, because technically I didn’t stop. I merely switched platforms. I’m now back at writing prose on a site that’s familiarly unfamiliar, a place which taught me what stepping out of comfort zone meant. I’ve expected that stepping into this familiar zone again will never be the same. New people, new angles to explore, new struggles and the list goes on.
I’ve been rushing out articles since my first week back and staging a dance production simultaneously have thrown me into a rat race with time, not to even mention that I’m also preparing for my driving test, which I’m praying so badly that I’ll pass.
I can’t say that I’m not enjoying this fast-paced life of mine, but I feel that a balance is something I should be striving for, instead of continuous output now. With new knowledge gained during this past year in school, somehow I grew to become more uncertain following this exposure. How do I explore this area? Is this the best way to present this content? Does this piece have an overly-subjective tone?
But firstly, I need sleep.
Recently I’ve been thinking about what I’ve gained and lost after poetry entered my life. One thing for sure is that I can better sort out my feelings and I take a far shorter time in realising why I’m feeling a certain way. Sometimes it is through that one punchline which relates to me and sometimes it is the entire message a poem aims to deliver that helps me organize my thoughts.
And right now, I can’t help but feel disappointed in myself.
When I thought I had put in enough effort, it turned out that I didn’t. When I thought I had tried my best, I realized I wasn’t even close. When I thought I had wanted it bad enough, I felt that the process which I put myself through wasn’t smart enough. But when I thought I had chosen a tougher path, I know I still am on this path, pushing through, only that I’m unsure if it’s gonna be worth it.
Or am I even on the right path?
teiganYou deserve all those sleepless nights and that second cup of coffee. You deserve to be having a hard time, to be struggling your way through every single day, because there’s no other way to make you realize how much you want your dreams to come true. There are moments where you question yourself, ask…