Your Life Is A Shitshow And Here’s Why That’s Okay

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Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

Twenty20 / antonyzac Twenty20 / antonyzac

When you’re in college, you think your life is a shitshow because you’re going out four nights a week, you barely have any semblance of responsibility, and your main concern is making sure you don’t schedule any classes before 10 a.m.

You make mistakes and you screw things up and you laugh about it with your friends. Your love life is usually a wreck, but in a funny way, because so is everyone else’s. You’re surrounded by versions of yourself on all sides: other people whose lives are just as messy and silly and disorganized as yours.

But then you leave college and your life is still a shitshow, but in a more serious, less funny way. Maybe your version of a mess is that you’re not yet married, or even dating. Or maybe you’re stressed out because you have a wonderful relationship but you’re not feeling…

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Heavy heart

mci_photo_read-onlyThe official national week of mourning session for Mr Lee Kuan Yew finally drew to a close. While I certainly may not fully understand the feelings of queuing overnight and to pay respects in the Parliament House, the amount of grief I saw and felt as I watched the gun carriage drove past me 4 days ago was as vivid as ever. Some joked that Singaporeans were trained to queue up ever since the Hello Kitty craze but the queue which filled the streets overnight for at least 3 days was one of a different scale. It was one where humanity once again resurfaced, it was one which the element of time could not be cared less, it was one which made Singaporeans come as one, not just to pay our last respects, but to reflect how this one great man and his team turned the nation from a third world to a first world within one generation. Just as how a sudden downpour greeted the 1968 National Day Parade, the sudden downpour this morning accompanied Mr Lee’s final step out of the Parliament House all the way to the State Funeral Service at UCC. And just as how he braved on back then, Singaporeans and soldiers alike, braved on for him today. I have never came across a funeral this gloomy yet astounding. Following the 21-gun salute, my TV screen showed countless of Singaporeans lined up along the streets, braving the rain just so they can say their last goodbyes to our founding prime minister. What made me chock back tears while watching the live telecast was not the weeping of Singaporeans; it was the one thing they were holding in their hands, the national flag. As a young Singaporean, I may not have witnessed the adversities and the arduous path Mr Lee had painstakingly took to build our nation, but I have very well see for myself the fruits of his labour. Mr Lee may have no longer been active in politics as he claimed but the reassurance he gave to our current prime minister was as heartfelt as if it was for us, because he is nonetheless the founding father of Singapore. For the umpteenth time, thank you Sir, for all that you have done, for all that you have given us. We would still be living in mudflats if not for you, Mr Lee.

Incomplete

It has been 3 busy weeks (and still counting) since most interns have already left. Honestly I felt a tinge of indifference behind the seemingly welcoming smiles and handshakes from the co-workers on my first day at work. Undoubtedly, I was surprised initially but I realised that it’s a norm for people to come and go  in the office. It seems that people are either desensitized over time or that it’s a defensive measure to prevent over-attachment, because they are bound to leave anyhow.

I have been wanting to write about Misaeng a while back but I held back till I finished this drama, and I’m glad I did. Given that this is a drama which revolves around lives of office workers, I was drawn in immediately. As much as it was relatable, it was equally depressing to watch because it manifested the harshest reality ever. Office-workers left due to various reasons and new people replaced them. As much as they welcome the new workers, the sentimentality left from the previous ones could not be ignored.

Misaeng takes a bold approach towards a sensitive yet necessary topic – credentials. It was one nice tight slap across my face as it portrayed the unavoidable pragmatism in society, but it was exactly that which made the drama so motivating and heartfelt. The drama carries so much emotional scenes which are honestly relatable to almost everyone, not just office workers.

The word Misaeng meant incomplete life when translated and I was impressed at how the drama progressed and soared with this one word as their core. I love how the show made not just one, but several characters protagonists and heroes in attempt to complete their lives at different points of the drama. Who knew that phrases such as ‘see you tomorrow’ and ‘our kid’ can make you weep away? No it will not make you cringe, it will move your heart and I’m not even kidding about it.

Okay I admit that I’m extremely emotionally invested in Misaeng.

This is the first drama which left me having a lump in my throat at the end of almost every episode yet feeling satisfied when the drama has ended. It had a strong opening scene before it drives you nuts (but in a good way) with their following depressing episodes. The drama did a pretty well-rounded wrap up which left me thinking about the initial reasons why I first started my job and why I am still doing it.

“There are things in life that we start even with a predetermined end.”

“Hang in there.”

Tired eyes

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I GOT IT. And I absolutely can’t wait to receive it! Hopefully I’ll be there physically when he signs for fans next time~

On a side note, the 4 ulcers on the underside of my tongue bring nothing but torture. I talk like Valentine from Kingsman now.