Heavy heart

mci_photo_read-onlyThe official national week of mourning session for Mr Lee Kuan Yew finally drew to a close. While I certainly may not fully understand the feelings of queuing overnight and to pay respects in the Parliament House, the amount of grief I saw and felt as I watched the gun carriage drove past me 4 days ago was as vivid as ever. Some joked that Singaporeans were trained to queue up ever since the Hello Kitty craze but the queue which filled the streets overnight for at least 3 days was one of a different scale. It was one where humanity once again resurfaced, it was one which the element of time could not be cared less, it was one which made Singaporeans come as one, not just to pay our last respects, but to reflect how this one great man and his team turned the nation from a third world to a first world within one generation. Just as how a sudden downpour greeted the 1968 National Day Parade, the sudden downpour this morning accompanied Mr Lee’s final step out of the Parliament House all the way to the State Funeral Service at UCC. And just as how he braved on back then, Singaporeans and soldiers alike, braved on for him today. I have never came across a funeral this gloomy yet astounding. Following the 21-gun salute, my TV screen showed countless of Singaporeans lined up along the streets, braving the rain just so they can say their last goodbyes to our founding prime minister. What made me chock back tears while watching the live telecast was not the weeping of Singaporeans; it was the one thing they were holding in their hands, the national flag. As a young Singaporean, I may not have witnessed the adversities and the arduous path Mr Lee had painstakingly took to build our nation, but I have very well see for myself the fruits of his labour. Mr Lee may have no longer been active in politics as he claimed but the reassurance he gave to our current prime minister was as heartfelt as if it was for us, because he is nonetheless the founding father of Singapore. For the umpteenth time, thank you Sir, for all that you have done, for all that you have given us. We would still be living in mudflats if not for you, Mr Lee.

Incomplete

It has been 3 busy weeks (and still counting) since most interns have already left. Honestly I felt a tinge of indifference behind the seemingly welcoming smiles and handshakes from the co-workers on my first day at work. Undoubtedly, I was surprised initially but I realised that it’s a norm for people to come and go  in the office. It seems that people are either desensitized over time or that it’s a defensive measure to prevent over-attachment, because they are bound to leave anyhow.

I have been wanting to write about Misaeng a while back but I held back till I finished this drama, and I’m glad I did. Given that this is a drama which revolves around lives of office workers, I was drawn in immediately. As much as it was relatable, it was equally depressing to watch because it manifested the harshest reality ever. Office-workers left due to various reasons and new people replaced them. As much as they welcome the new workers, the sentimentality left from the previous ones could not be ignored.

Misaeng takes a bold approach towards a sensitive yet necessary topic – credentials. It was one nice tight slap across my face as it portrayed the unavoidable pragmatism in society, but it was exactly that which made the drama so motivating and heartfelt. The drama carries so much emotional scenes which are honestly relatable to almost everyone, not just office workers.

The word Misaeng meant incomplete life when translated and I was impressed at how the drama progressed and soared with this one word as their core. I love how the show made not just one, but several characters protagonists and heroes in attempt to complete their lives at different points of the drama. Who knew that phrases such as ‘see you tomorrow’ and ‘our kid’ can make you weep away? No it will not make you cringe, it will move your heart and I’m not even kidding about it.

Okay I admit that I’m extremely emotionally invested in Misaeng.

This is the first drama which left me having a lump in my throat at the end of almost every episode yet feeling satisfied when the drama has ended. It had a strong opening scene before it drives you nuts (but in a good way) with their following depressing episodes. The drama did a pretty well-rounded wrap up which left me thinking about the initial reasons why I first started my job and why I am still doing it.

“There are things in life that we start even with a predetermined end.”

“Hang in there.”

Tired eyes

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I GOT IT. And I absolutely can’t wait to receive it! Hopefully I’ll be there physically when he signs for fans next time~

On a side note, the 4 ulcers on the underside of my tongue bring nothing but torture. I talk like Valentine from Kingsman now.

Healer

So I spent my new year’s eve watching the last episode of Healer and having some intense drama withdrawals, something which I haven’t experienced for a long time. In fact, I could feel the withdrawals coming in when I’m halfway through the drama and its rating of 9++% proves that it’s such an underrated drama.  But why? Ji Chang Wook is the male lead and his character is nothing but suave. Well it is no doubt he is mainly the reason why I’m so attached to the drama. No kidding ahahahaha.

From him acting as a nerd

141209-‘힐러’-홈웨어부터-작업복까지-지창욱의-3단-변신_2to the healer climbing rooftops…

지창욱so charming la please.

I can go on and on about how sleek Ji Chang Wook’s acting is in this drama but I shall stop here… Okay last one, let us take a moment to appreciate his broad shoulders heh

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Fragile and Dear

So it’s Sunday night and I am well aware that I have to be up early tomorrow morning for work, not to even mention squeezing and smelling women’s overly sweet perfume during rush hour. And hence this little part of me choose to stay awake and indulge in the silence I truly appreciate in my room at this hour though a big part of me yearn to be crashing right now.

I came across this article titled Why We Value Something The Most When It’s Gone and here’s an extract from it.

” It’s not because we consciously take things for granted.

We do this unintentionally because of the comfort of their continuous existence.
The uncertainty of time has made us fools into believing that we, and everything around us are infinite – like a pretense we know of, but ignore.”

This was an answer I had been looking for in many years in fact. It is true that the uncertainty in time made us believe that the state of comfort we are in is infinite. So the next question is, do we not get too attached then?

My answer is no, we should still go ahead and follow our instincts instead of our minds, at least for me personally. And the reason being? I have tried detaching before but ended up with regrets and an overwhelming bucketful of ‘what ifs’.

As I had mentioned in my previous post that I believe that people come and go in our lives, I am convinced that this will not hinder me from getting too attached to people and things. Sure enough, they will become memories 10, 20 years down the road but honestly one never know what to expect from each relationship. There is this element of surprise awaiting to be discovered and it will be a pity if we downright detach ourselves from it. This probably is another example which manifests the significance of process outweighing the ending, isn’t it?